A walk in the past.

Our city of Fredericksburg, has a very rich history.  Our residents hang on to our past, and celebrate it.  Its one of the things I love most about our city.  When we first moved here 2 1\2 years ago,  I fell in love with the history.    My husband has always loved history, and bored me to death with his documentaries.  I, however didn't enjoy history until I was able to touch it, feel it, see it, in person.

Our first Christmas in this city, we drove around looking for Christmas lights.  Its a tradition started by my parents when I was a child.  I noticed right away, that the area we lived in, didn't decorate too much.  It disappointed me greatly.  We drove around and around until we wound up downtown.  Driving down the main street, I saw the window shops decorated for the season.  We decided to take a little walk and look in all the windows.

Walking down Caroline street, is now a tradition in my family.  Every Christmas we will take our walk, and admire the dimly lit windows.  Walking through the chilly air, seeing the shops all decorated makes me feel closer to my dad.  He always had stories of walking around downtown Dearborn, Mi with the shops all decorated for Christmas.  Or walking down Woodward Ave, in Detroit.  It takes me to a time when that city was great, and shined for the world to see.  It makes me picture my dad as a child, and then as a teenager walking past the windows.  I hope one day he will make it out here during this holiday season to share this experience with us.

Anyway, this year we walked all 6 of us down the street.  The wind was chilly and whipped the leaves across the ground.  All was quiet, and most of the shops and restaurants were closed for the night.  In the distance we heard music playing.  A lone violinist.  He played the most beautiful melodies that carried across the wind.  Song after song, he drew me in.  I finally started to walk away and he began to play "somewhere over the rainbow"  My sister and I both stopped turned around and stared.  This is a song our grandma used to sing, many many years ago.  It always amazes me how quickly memories can come back to you, from a song, or a scent, or any other strange way.  A quick tear in my eye, then we took off again.

The windows were beautifully decorated, be it a salon, or antique shop, or local restaurant.  The girls had fun rushing along from window to window, trying to guess the riddles the city put up.

I love looking in all the windows.  It makes me feel like a little girl again.  It makes me think of a simpler time.  It makes me long for a history, I never knew.  I hope you all can find something that makes you this happy and filled with peace, during this Christmas season.

More images can be found Here at my google+ account, or Here at my facebook

today, I love myself

Today i felt like poop.  I wanted to go back to bed, after the girls got on the bus.  I wanted to lay down and sleep.  My body is sore from the workouts, the weights, and the household mommy duties.  Ya know what i did, i got my work out outfit on.  I didn't want to, but i did.  Then i went downstairs and stretched, and then did exercises using my resistant band.  I followed that with 40 full situps.  a quick 25 minute, but very effective workout.

Then i sat down and ate a small bowl of oatmeal.

The neighbor came over and asked if i wanted to go for a walk. so we walked..2.33 miles.

I ate a big giant bowl of mexican salad, with pinto beans, and grilled chicken. mm it was delish!

Then i became really tired again.  Thats ok though, I did alot.  Now im making dinner.  My husband wanted Taco salad, and even though I had something similar for lunch, i LOVE taco salad and couldnt resist.  IM HUNGRY!

Working out always makes me feel better, emotionally and physically.  I am a different person when I am working out regularly.  A happier person.  and I love myself.

A long past due update.

Its been a long summer.  Lots of changes.  Lots of stress.  Lots of trying to adjust.
First we bought a house.  The house is perfect for our needs, and its a huge upgrade from the rental we were living in.  The landlord let his house go, and refused to do proper maintenance which i guess is quite common out here.  Anyway, that whole situation has been a disaster.  But with moving, and dealing with him.. and having 3 house guests come to live with us.  There have been alot of changes and things to adjust to.  I guess because of this, is why I struggled with my weight loss program all summer.  Well that, and it was summer.  I spent too many days out doing stuff, living life, and grabbing food on the go.  Spent more time doing chores, and spending time with the kids, and not so much focusing on myself.  Because if this I gained a little weight.  Now mind you, in the past I would have packed on some serious poundage.  There is a reason I got up to 334 lbs.  And even though I cheated alot, and didnt work out as much.. I only gained 8 lbs all summer.  Most of that weight being gained in the last 3 weeks.  Birthday dinner, and cake, and anniversary meal, and just not watching anything I ate.  Well. I will take it as a short fall, in the huge game that I will be victorious in.

My dad who has been my biggest supporter in this (and who is a muscle man himself) said this "give yourself permission to take the summer as a break, dont beat yourself up about it.  but when school starts get back to business)  Great advice.  Its not giving myself permission to scarf down whatever I want, and not do anything.  It was permission to make mistakes and not beat myself up over it.  It was giving myself permission to say its ok that I messed up some.  Because in the past i would have said, well i already gained weight, i might as well just quit now.

August 2013  -55lbs

January 2013                                             April 2013

Ya know I started this journey 6 months ago.  At first I thought it was just a diet, temporary.  This has become my life.  This is who I am now.  I dont want chips all the time, I dont crave red meat every day.  I LOVE my veggies at every meal.  I CRAVE my workout time.  I feel SOOO GOOD when I work out.  And I have made huge successes in my life.  Alot of non scale victories (NSV) were achieved these past 6 months.  Yeah I messed up a little, but I have not quit, and I have not given up on myself.  Every day that i wake up, I try.


NON SCALE VICTORIES
   some of these things an average person takes for granted.  As an obese person, I revel in my small victories.  

I can touch my toes.
I can do full sit ups.
I can run up stairs (102 up and down yesterday)
I can bike 15 miles
I can sit with my legs crossed (this was huge for me, its been a very long time since I could cross my legs)
I can lift weights (had no upper body strength)
I can dance without being out of breath
My cholesterol, blood pressure, and sugar are all normal and healthy!
My heart no long keeps me up all night long with its irregular pounding
I hiked a pretty tough course and say a magnificent waterfall. (would have been impossible last year)

this is just to name a few.  HUGE accomplishments in my life.  Things that let me know I am on the right path.  I am stronger, I am healthier, I am happier, I am a better me!

life as we now know it

its been a crazy ride the past few months.  My life has changed in ways I never imagined they would.  I have officially lost 45 lbs, and still not done losing.  I feel so much better! So much healthier and happier!   I love working out, and I am really tasting food.  Its weird but when you eat to much fat and salt, your tastebuds almost seem to die off.  They are fully awakened now, and I love it!  I still have a long road ahead of me, as far as recovering goes.  My body has really been punished all these years, and I am suffering the consequences of that.  Knees, back, ankles, even my wrists ache.  But I know my body will recover from all this damage.  I have even been batting around the idea with my dad to train for a 5k marathon next year.  I just have to take baby steps to get there.  I asked him to run with me.  He used to run a lot, and did several marathons.  He is a little out of shape right now, but i know he can get back into running mode with me!

Aside from the health improvements, we also  bought a house!  It really is our dream home.  I sat on the front porch yesterday of our new home, and it just felt like i was at someone elses house.  Theres no way this beautiful house can be mine! Its not our first time as a homeowner, but its the first time I have ever, in my life, went in and painted, and really made the house MY STYLE.  I look back at where we came from, and where we ended up (with a lot of hard work and dedication), and I can hardly believe its all real.  Sometimes  I don't want to believe I deserve this amazing life, God has given me.  But I thank Him every night for it!  This little girl raised in a tiny 5 room house in the ghetto, never imagined living in a house like this.  Nor did i imagine living in a quiet peaceful neighborhood, where i feel safe with my daughter playing safely in the front yard.  I don't think my husband dreamt as big either.   Its been a fantastic journey with him, working together to make this life we have.  We started out with nothing.  one soup pot, one spoon, one pillow and blanket to share, and a computer.  Thats it!  We have come a very long way.

I think coming from the background we have had, makes us more appreciative of all the little things.  It makes all the hard work and hard times, worth it.  It makes you realize, you CAN have the life you dream of! Hard work, and never giving up, and your dreams WILL come true! 

First Goal

My weight has always been a huge struggle for me.  After moving to Virginia I really let myself go.  I wasnt working as often, my husband was working long hours and had a long commute, and I didnt know anyone here.  What was left for me?  I found my comfort in food.  Its always been my go to source of comfort.
I hate admitting how big I had let myself get.  and being as though we didnt have a scale in the house, i was in denial about how much weight I had gained.

for the past several years there has been a number I have strived to reach.  I have fought and fought, but whenever i got close to that goal weight, i sabotaged myself and gained it all back.  After a conversation wtih my dad, I was real with myself and saw what I was doing.  Since starting this journey 2 months ago, this number was my first goal.  the first finish line for me, so to speak.  I just needed to get under 300.

the number 300 has haunted me pretty much my whole life.  I was a chubby kid, and my dad hated that.  His famous phrase to me was "you keeping eating like that, your going to weight 300 lbs"  (my dad was not the amazing man he is today, not even close)  I guess being as stubborn as I am, i took that as a challenge.  Some where in my psyche i kept myself above 300 as a way of punishing myself.

I look in the mirror now, and still see a huge fat person.  but I also see the progress I had made.  I look and say "how did you let it get so far?"  How did i get so fat??  Alot of people dont even see a difference, because when I was in Michigan I was no where near as fat as I got here.

But on the bright side, im not going to beat myself up over it.  Im just gonna keep moving forward, keep improving, and keep fixing what i broke.
I see huge changes in my blood pressure (provided i can keep the stress out of my life), my body is stronger, and im able to do things, i couldnt do 3 months ago.  My heart is acting alot more normal, and not trying to quit on me, or pound out of my chest.  And I have dropped down 1 dress size, fit into old shorts, that fit me in Michigan.  and actually they are kinda baggy, considering i don't need to unbutton or unzip them to take them off.

My next goal is simple. I just want to lose 25 more lbs before I go to Michigan in June.  that would make me 249 lbs.  and I havent weighed that since before I got pregnant with my daughter, 8 years ago.

If you ever feel like you cant do something, or life is too hard.  Just remember this, you can fix anything in your life, YOU ARE IN CONTROL of your life!!!!  If i can do this, you can do whatever you set your heart to!

National Cherry Blossom Festival Washington DC 2013

The blossom watch predicted peak bloom from the 6th-8th.  When we arrived down town, we saw this wasnt even close to true.  I would say only 4 or 5 trees were in full bloom, most were still in the budding stage.  But thats ok, I didnt mind.  Ya see, being from Michigan our spring doesnt come until May.  So when I see flowers in February and April, I get all kinds of happy! 

I convinced both my husband, and my 7 year old daughter to get up at 5 am and head on up to DC.  About an hours drive from my house.  I dont know why they let me talk them into such things, but I am so grateful they go along.  We arrived in Dc just as the sun was starting to crest the horizon.  

We have only been in this area for a year and a half, so much of DC is still left unexplored.  It was my first time visiting the Jefferson Memorial.  It was virtually emtpy.  I am not sure if this is because it was so early in the morning, or because everyone was outside viewing the cherry blossoms.   Either way, it was nice to enjoy the quiet beauty of it all.  

I have heard alot of other photographers complain about wasting the trip to DC this weekend, only to see the flowers NOT in full bloom.  I dont consider it a waste at all.  I got the pleasure to see and photograph the flowers in all their stages of progressions.  From tiny pink buds, to pink with a little white, to full white cloud bursts.  It was so magical to witness.  

Another handy little tip, besides going before dawn, is to go inland.  Everyone was set up on the tidal basin, seeing the same thing, getting the same shots.  We walked inland some and got to see Cherry blossoms, but also other flowering trees, and monuments that were virtually going unnoticed.  

 A beautiful magnolia basking in the morning sunshine.  Lending its fragrance, and colors to a magical morning.

 The lonely dogwood, hiding itself from the crowds up near the Roosevelt monument.










Dr King watching over the whole event, with his majestic stare.

and finally the massive Roosevelt display.  

All of these sites, a first for my family.  It was so much beauty to take in, and all before 9 am.  It was another one of our famous Rivera Adventures.  Seeing new things, things I can share with you. There is so much to see and do here.  Free things, I might add.  So many more adventures to be had.  So much more exploring to do.  I am so greatful I am blessed with this life.  

macro jewelry

Took a little time to do some macro jewelry shots.

 mother and daughter rings

 Turtle necklace

 art deco necklace

 til we meet again

 eye of the tiger

Mickey is so Charming

Healthy Recipe, Avocado cucumber salad

I love avocados! In fact my whole family loves avacados.   I make the absolute best guacamole around! but there is a limit to how much guac one can eat.  I also like to put sliced avacados in my salad.  But i was trying to come up with a way to eat them as a side dish with dinner, or as a nice lunch.  This salad is really good stuffed into a wheat pita pocket, or along side your favorite dinner item.  We had it with a roast last night, and it goes really well with grilled chicken.  Try it, I promise you will love it as much as we do.

2 ripe avacados
half cucumber
2 tbsn red onion
half chopped jalepeno
juice from a lemon (or lime)
one small roma tomato

Dice everything and mix together, add a pinch of salt.  Easy peasy, and so delicious!

life as we know it

I never got to finishing my blog posts about our wonderful trip to Disney World.  Complications came up and life became very hectic.  What is most important in my life, became very prevalent.  I decided to not try and stretch myself so thin, not push myself so hard, and just do what was most important.

 So what does that mean really?  It means I am backing off from the business of photography.  All the logistics just became too much for me to deal with at this time.  It means photographing people I care about, and doing it for the love of photography.  It means alot less time on the computer.  It means dedicating my life to being healthy and happy.

I have made some really huge life altering decisions in the past 2 months.  And life is changing, and I am happier, and healthier, and things are looking so good to me.

Change is scary, and can be very hard to do.  There is no doubt about that.  But embracing the changes I needed to make, and being my normal stubborn self, my life has greatly improved.  I put so much more trust in God, than I knew I was capable of.  I still feel like somehow I have control over everything, and get arrogant enough to think I can outsmart Him and do it my own way.  But I am really putting all my effort into putting all my faith in Him and giving my entire life to Him.  Saying the prayer "Your will be done" and trusting  His decision for the next step in my life, helped me let go of all my fear and worry.  Knowing that He has forgiven me for all the mistakes I have made, and all the bad choices.  And that He will always be there loving and forgiving me, even when I don't love or forgive myself.

For a long time I was arrogant, I thought well that could never happen to me, I am healthy.  I had no idea that my body was on the way to betraying me, after I had betrayed it for so long.  I never expected to go to the doctor and get all the bad news, that I received   I had no clue I was so sick, when i thought i felt just fine.

My dad told me, that he knows I can change my life, that i can make it all better.  He told me, I am strong willed and stubborn, and if i can accomplish all that I accomplished through my photography, he knew I could do whatever I set my mind to.  He told me to just put all the effort into myself, that I put into my photography, and I will see big differences in my life.  Knowing that my dad has faith in me, has probably been the thing that kept me going the most.  I promised him, I would fix this.  I have only made 2 promises to my dad in my life.  The first one, was to quit hurting myself, when I was a teenager.  I saw the pain in his eyes, after he learned of my nasty little secret.  And I never hurt myself again after that.  I guess this new promise is kind of the same.  I promised to heal my body, and live a long happy life.  Because I heard the pain in his voice, when I told him my diagnoses.

Its been 6 weeks, since i decided to make a change.  I have lost 23 lbs, got my blood pressure under complete control, all my other blood levels came down to a normal level(sugar, cholesterol), and my heart is doing really well.  I still have surgery to look forward to, but i can go into the surgery now, knowing im healthy enough to go under the knife.  And its really just the beginning for me.  Not only am I eating healthy, but I work out almost every night.  I love working out.  I love the way it makes me feel, i love the energy i get from it, i love the tension release.  I love just turning on my playlist and hitting it hard, til im sweaty and out of breath.  But most of all, I love watching my heart rate.  It never gets too high, no matter how hard I push myself, and it recovers so quickly now.  I can retain a normal heart rate in less than 30 seconds!

I am trying not to take anything for granted, trying to put all my faith in God, and trying to be the very best person I can be.  I guess those are the keys to true happiness.

Disney World 2013. Day 1 So magical!

Here you leave today and enter the world of Yesterday, Tomorrow, and Fantasy.

That little plaque, having above the entryway to Magic Kingdom really says it all.  Entering, you leave behind the real world.  And when leaving and entering back into the real world, is almost a culture shock.

Disney World is our vacation of choice, in this house.  If we are not at Disney World, we are planning our next trip there.  We already have the next 2 trips in the planning phase.  I dont know if its a sickness, addiction, or just a deep love and appreciation for the magic within.  My first trip to any disney park, was in 2006, when my daughter was 1 1\2.  We took her to Disneyland, Ca, on a trip out west to visit family.  This trip was good, but it wasnt until 2008 when we visited Walt Disney World, Fl, that we became true Disney enthusiasts.  We make it a point to try and get a trip every single year.  

Our last trip, was less than magical for me. I was in a pretty bad place in my life. The trip brought more dread than joy.  This trip however, I was determined to have a great time.  We planned out the whole trip, made reservations, put aside some extra spending money, and basically prepared in every way we could think of.  Including going to walks, to get our bodies ready for the hours on your feet every day.  We got a pretty awesome deal on the hotel, and upgraded to a moderate resort.  It was a first time at a moderate! We chose a Royal Room, at Port Orleans Riverside.  

The hotel was fantastic, they really make you feel at home.  My daughter loved the fiber optics in the headboard, and the magical Genie lamp facet in the bathroom.  I loved the waterslide and hot tub at the pool area.   My husband, well he loved the whole experiance.  It was so fun to watch him go down the water slide like a big kid! He can be too much of a grown up sometimes, and its so nice to watch him unwind, relax, and just be a kid again.  Our first day there, we had a cast member sing HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, over his loud speaker, and another cast member stopped to give my daughter 5 packs of mardi gras beads.  

Our first day in the parks, we decided to go visit Epcot.  Disney is having "limited time magic" and our first day, was the last day of Epcots special magic.  Epcot was having a winter wonderland in the Canada pavilion, and we were headed over to see the snow, and special characters.  On the way around the world, we stopped at a pin vendor, to buy some collectors pins.  We stepped to the side to admire our purchases, when these HUGE doors open just to the side of us.  I had no idea what was happening, because usually when giant doors open, there is a parade coming.  Seeing as though there is no parade at Epcot, i was shocked at what I did see.  

A courtyard filled with characters.  We didnt stop and visit them all, because we knew we would see big names like Minnie, and Pluto, at some of our Character meals. We did however, make sure to stop and see the less seen of the Disney faces. Max, and Goofy. Baloo and King Louie from Jungle book. Stitch, because he is my absolute favorite! Wendell from Country bears, Mr Penguin from Mary Poppins, Genie from Aladdin, and Turk from Tarzan, just to name a few.  Raffiki was also there, but my daughter wasnt really interested in him.  the doors were open for about 10 minutes before they closed them off to the public.  It truly was a perfect timing situation for us! 

Compared to what we just experienced  Disneys limited time scheduled magic, just didnt seem as extraordinary.  But it was still neat seeing the snow, and winter dressed characters all together.

I was so happy, and filled with the spirit of disney magic.  I walked around the whole day with a goofy grin on my face.  I knew the rest of the vacation had better be pretty awesome to live up to this day.  

2013

Its a new year, and like most of us out there, I have plans for changes in my life.  Last year, I spent a very good portion of my life stressed out!  In an effort to find some semblance of peace, I kept trying to change things and alter reality.  It didnt work.  It really took me stepping back from everything, just stopping, and breathing.  In the end I found what I was looking for, I found my answers.  I had to stop trying to make things MY WAY and let God show me His way.

Going into 2013 I felt at peace.  I knew what I wanted out of this coming year.  I knew what God had meant for me to do.  I have said in the past, that God gave me this gift (photography) I am going to give it back to the world.  That means not worrying about money, and appointments, and success.  It means finding the beauty God put into this world.  Beauty in people, and nature.

I have been so blessed in my life, and have taken it for granted.  I plan on passing the blessings along this year.  Sharing my gift, and my love with all those around me.