First Goal

My weight has always been a huge struggle for me.  After moving to Virginia I really let myself go.  I wasnt working as often, my husband was working long hours and had a long commute, and I didnt know anyone here.  What was left for me?  I found my comfort in food.  Its always been my go to source of comfort.
I hate admitting how big I had let myself get.  and being as though we didnt have a scale in the house, i was in denial about how much weight I had gained.

for the past several years there has been a number I have strived to reach.  I have fought and fought, but whenever i got close to that goal weight, i sabotaged myself and gained it all back.  After a conversation wtih my dad, I was real with myself and saw what I was doing.  Since starting this journey 2 months ago, this number was my first goal.  the first finish line for me, so to speak.  I just needed to get under 300.

the number 300 has haunted me pretty much my whole life.  I was a chubby kid, and my dad hated that.  His famous phrase to me was "you keeping eating like that, your going to weight 300 lbs"  (my dad was not the amazing man he is today, not even close)  I guess being as stubborn as I am, i took that as a challenge.  Some where in my psyche i kept myself above 300 as a way of punishing myself.

I look in the mirror now, and still see a huge fat person.  but I also see the progress I had made.  I look and say "how did you let it get so far?"  How did i get so fat??  Alot of people dont even see a difference, because when I was in Michigan I was no where near as fat as I got here.

But on the bright side, im not going to beat myself up over it.  Im just gonna keep moving forward, keep improving, and keep fixing what i broke.
I see huge changes in my blood pressure (provided i can keep the stress out of my life), my body is stronger, and im able to do things, i couldnt do 3 months ago.  My heart is acting alot more normal, and not trying to quit on me, or pound out of my chest.  And I have dropped down 1 dress size, fit into old shorts, that fit me in Michigan.  and actually they are kinda baggy, considering i don't need to unbutton or unzip them to take them off.

My next goal is simple. I just want to lose 25 more lbs before I go to Michigan in June.  that would make me 249 lbs.  and I havent weighed that since before I got pregnant with my daughter, 8 years ago.

If you ever feel like you cant do something, or life is too hard.  Just remember this, you can fix anything in your life, YOU ARE IN CONTROL of your life!!!!  If i can do this, you can do whatever you set your heart to!