Why photography is important.

I have done a post similar to this in the past.  I feel I need to revisit this subject due to recent circumstances.  You see, we have have 2 deaths in my family in a 10 day period.  Both deaths were our grandfathers.  My birth Grandfather, and my husbands grandfather, who was more of a grandfather to me than my own birth grandparents.

I learned this lesson about 16 years ago this month.  My Godfather passed away way too soon.  At the time I was 20 years old, and photography was really just a pastime for me.  I worked in film, and my camera was very inexpensive, because we were fairly poor. But in my experimentation I bought a few rolls of black and white film.  I took a photo of my Godfather in black and white, and I still have that photo and cherish it.  My Godfather was going through a really hard time before he died.  He didn't have a lot of family around him, and there really were no recent pictures of him, with the exception of the ones I took.

Flash forward to 2010.  during this year, I was really just starting our trying to make a name for myself in photography.  I had a lot to learn, but I was eager, and curious.  I loved reading books on photography and practicing as many techniques as I could. I also found it important to photograph my loved ones.  I set up a session with my birth grandfather, my mom, myself and my daughter.  Its the closest thing to a generational photo, that I could get.  And even though I wasn't that close to my papa, I still wanted these photos for one day, when my daughter asked about him.  I also set up a session just for fun, with my mom, and her 3 daughters, and her 3 granddaughters.  I never in a million years expected her to die the following month.  I just kept thinking, if I hadn't done those 2 sessions, we would have no recent pictures of her.  She hated being photographed.  But she did these sessions for me, because she knew it was important to me.  Can I just say that I hang onto those pictures for dear life.  They mean everything to me.  

With the passing of my birth grandfather this month, It occurred to me, that out of all his many many children and grandchildren, I was the only one with decent pictures of him.  Pictures from before he was sick.  Pictures when he was still full of piss and vinegar (as my mom would say)  Granted the pictures are now 5 years old.  But as far as I know, they are the most recent photographs, that are not cell pictures of him on his death bed. 

My husbands Grandpa.  I adopted my grandparents when I first met them in 2001.  My husband very happily shares them with me, and I consider them my own.  Tragedy struck my husbands family in August, with the untimely death of Uncle David.  He lived only 4 short hours away from us, and we found out our grandparents would come to say goodbye to their son.  We havent seen them in a while, because they live in California, clear across the country.  We took the opportunity to go see them.  It was a wonderful time, through a tragic circumstance.  Grandma asked if I had my camera.  (of course i always have it)  I tried to take pictures, without being intrusive.  This was also the first time they met my son, who had just turned one.  I never imagined it would be the last time we would see him.  I mean, when your dealing with older family members, its always in  your mind, that this could be the last time you see them.  But I just never imagined so soon after our visit, his life would end.  We are so full of hurt and grief.  But once again, I realize how very very blessed I am to have taken photographs.  And though my heart breaks to look at them.  It also makes me so so happy to know, I will have them forever.  So that when I look back, I can remember every wrinkle of his face when he smiles, every tattoo that I never looked to hard at, because that would be weird.  And my son, who has not stopped talking about his gah pa since, will have pictures, when he no longer remembers.  And my wonderful daughter and husband can remember that even though my  husband had fear and respect for Grandpas authority, my daughter stood up to him at a young age of  2 and made grandpa laugh when she did it.  

So I will leave you with this thought.  TAKE PICTURES!  Get in pictures!  Let others photograph you! When you visit someplace cool with your family, take FAMILY PICTURES, not just pictures of the place your visiting.  Take pictures of every day life.  Pictures of you mom at the stove, or of your children playing with their toys.  Laughing on the porch, fishing on a dock.  Do professional pictures at least once a year.  Get those memories on film, or disk, or paper!  Do it now, don't wait.  Because their might not be a tomorrow and you WILL REGRET IT. 

My new lifestyle.

I know I have posted about my weight before.  This is a journey, that I will be on the rest of my life.  But I just wanted to do a little update on how far I have come.  

The pregnancy did derail my fitness and health some, I wont lie.  I gained some weight.  I gained 40 lbs.  Compared to my last pregnancy 9 years ago, its small potatoes.  I gained 75 with my daughter.  So I consider this a huge achievement.  After the c-section I lost a quick 20 lbs. I came home to a long recovery, and a baby who has a mind of his own.  Getting back on track has taken quite some time.  With no sleep, constant feeding, and taking care of 3 big girls, I just didn't have the energy.  Quite honestly, I needed every calorie I took in.  My little man is an eater.  For a while, I thought he might just want to stay attached to the boob permanently.    

Anyway.  I decided after 4 months, it was time to get back into gear.  I let the holidays pass, and ate at my  hearts content, then first of the year (so very cliche) I would get back to work.  This is what I have been doing.

Eat like you mean it.

If your hungry, EAT.  but be wise about what your eating.  Here is a sample of what I eat every day.

BREAKFAST-

1 light yogurt (sometimes I mix in a tsp of candy or granola)

    OR

3 eggs any way I feel like it. 

    OR

A smoothie, made with my light yogurt, lowfat milk, and whatever else i want to mix in

LUNCH-

Salad with protein. (you can use any old protein you want, I prefer meat, but beans, and nuts work just as well. Sometimes i double up on the protein, and use nuts and meat)

    OR

A protein, and a good hardy veggie (example grilled chicken breast, and brussel sprouts)

DINNER-

A protein, usually chicken, but I mix it up, Anything you would cook for your family

2 vegetables.  too keep it interesting I like to do one hot, one cold.  

and always, i have an after workout snack.  my favorite is carrots and roasted red pepper hummus(2 tbsn).  Sometimes if i am hungry in between meals, i will grab some cheese.  Just 2 oz though. 

Workout like your life depended on it.

In my case, it does.  My life depends on my working out.  If I dont workout, and eat right, I get sick, really sick.  I dont want to be sick, I dont like high blood pressure, and I sure dont want to look at the possibility of diabetes again.  I dont want heart palpitation, or feeling like I cant breath.  I love life way too much to let myself get like that again.

I dedicate at least 1 full hour to myself EVERY DAY.  My kids know this, my husband knows this.  If I dont workout, i get really moody.  

I like to dance. I call it my cardio.  I have several games on the kinnect, but my favorite is JUST DANCE.  I dance for 25-50 minutes.  I challenge myself with new dances, and I keep moving up and down the list to keep in interesting and new.  

I ride my stationary bike.  Some days I pair riding with dancing.  20 minutes of one, 5 miles of the other.  I challenge myself here too.  Different levels of difficulty, go a certain number of miles.  

Good old fashioned walking.  I have a perfect neighborhood for this.  Its very hilly and is almost a complete circle.  We also have a great walking trail not far from here, and the battlefield is also a great place to walk.  

Keep yourself accountable

Here is where my facebook/twitter friends might get irritated.  I post EVERY SINGLE WORKOUT. why? to irritate people? NO.  to keep myself accountable for my actions.  I feel guilty if i get lazy.  I have this made up scenario in my head that people are judging me if I dont workout.  and it keeps me going.  

IGNORE YOUR SCALE

 I cannot express the importance of this enough.  the scale will drive you crazy! 

first off, muscle weighs more than fat.  I am building muscle every day, AND burning fat.  I am also a woman, we swell, we have weight gain, hormone fluctuations, all make your weight go up and down.  

The way I keep myself going, is non-scale victories.  Setting goals for myself and keeping them.  for instance, I was really struggling walking up the stairs to my bedroom.  I would get winded, and have to sit down on my bed.  My goal, RUN UP THE STAIRS.  Once I mastered that, now my goal is to RUN UP THE STAIRS HOLDING MY SON (22 lbs)  He likes doing it, and im pretty close to being able to do it.  Another example is making 10 miles on my bike, then 15, and so on.  Or walking a mile, then 2.  A recent goal I mastered was the walking path i mentioned earlier.  The last time I walked this trail (over a year ago) I made it about halfway, and had to turn around.  It was embarrassing, and i hated myself for it so much, we never went back.  Last week, we went, I walked the WHOLE TRAIL.  I did it without pain, or discomfort, and i did it with my breath fully in tact.  I even did it walking and training a half crazy puppy, who is terrified of everything.  I AM THE MASTER! lol  

My new lifestyle is amazing.  It makes me happy, and keeps me healthy.  It feels so good to be proud of yourself.  It feels even better to challenge yourself and meet and surpass every single time.  I just have to say, it this big fat girl can do it, anyone can.  

The one final thing you need to succeed, is LOVE YOURSELF.  

Farmers Market recipe

My family took a trip to our local farmers market.  Its definitely harvest season here, right now.  We found so many colorful veggies.  I bought some heirloom tomatoes in yellow and purple, and some beautiful red, yellow and purple peppers.  Along with red and white radishes as big as my daughters fist, and some other yummy foods, including baked goods and jam from our local baker at Karens Kitchen.

Some of my veggies were placed in the fridge, but I never ever refrigerate tomatoes.  It changes the texture and flavor greatly.  So I had to think of a recipe to come up with quick.

Heirloom tomato salad.

3 large heirloom tomatoes. any color you wish ( i used yellow and purple)
2 peppers any color ( I used purple and red)
1 small onion
Half of a cucumber
1\4 cup of italian dressing
1 tsp of dried basil (or a big handful of fresh)
light dusting of garlic powder (not garlic salt)
1\2 tsp of red pepper flakes
and salt and pepper to taste.

You can chop this big or dice it small.  I diced it small because I have 3 girls, two of which can be picky when it comes to tomatoes.  When you dice it small, they can really pick out which veggie is what, and have no choice but to take spoonfuls of all the veggies together.  If your serving it to adults I would probably cut it into bigger pieces.

Dice all the veggies, and add the dressing and spices. Stir gently and let it soak in the juices for about a half an hour.  Please dont refrigerate before serving, you will thank me.

Life as I know it

I have received a few emails from my very favorite clients asking for an update. Its been a long while.  To start,  our son was born in August. A very healthy happy baby boy. He was born via c section after a very long hard 4 days.  He was a very special birthday present to me. We joke around about the surgery because it was a surgery that enables me to get pregnant and a surgery that helped him be born. I have 5 scars that I wouldn't trade for the world, because they remind me of my perfect little miracle.

Life as you can imagine is really busy. He keeps me busy all hours of the day and night and my daughter and nieces keep me pretty busy too.  Between ballet and middle school and making homemade healthy dinners every night. There isn't much time left.

So i have decided to retire for the time being.  I will still post from time to time. And still will do sessions for family and friends and by request from those of you who have been loyal and loving to me. But for now im being completely selfish and just doing life the way I know how. By giving my all to the children God entrusted me with. By being the best wife I can to my husband. And by using my skills to document this amazing life I have been given.

Thank you all for sticking around,  by standing beside me, and especially for all the prayers and support you all have given me. I love y'all more than I can express.

Recipes from my garden.

This year we have taken on the task of making a vegetable garden.  Its our first time ever, growing our own veggies.  I helped my mom grow veggies, when we were younger.  So I had some memories of that, and some knowledge to fall back on.  I will admit, not everything grew like it should, but we feasted heavily on our small bounty.  We also have big plans for our garden adventure next year.

Our biggest crop was, of course tomatoes.  Yesterday I sent my niece out to gather all the colorful tomatoes from the garden.  We had a huge basket full after the rain fall last week.  I wanted to make good use of them.  I also had a few bunches of basil growing on my deck, and we always have chicken on hand.  This is the recipe I came up with.

Tomato, basil and chicken pasta.

I had a pretty good sized basket of grape tomatoes, and a few regular sized tomatoes.
a huge handful of basil
3 large chicken breasts
2 large cloves of garlic
1 med onion






To start, I put a little oil in a big pan, and sauted the garlic and onion.  I sliced the chicken and put that in next. I just wanted the onions to be soft, and the chicken to no longer be pink on the outside.  This took about 10 minutes on med heat.  If you cook it too high, you will burn the garlic, and it will taste bitter.

Next step, I quartered the bigger tomatoes, and halved the grape tomatoes and added those to the pot.

I cooked them on med heat, uncovered until they started to blister and melt down.  Then I added the handful of fresh picked basil, and salt and pepper to taste.

Let simmer on med, for about 8-10 minutes.  It simmered away while the pasta was boiling.  

Serve over pasta and enjoy.  

unexpected life, pregnancy through obesity

As of tomorrow I will be 30 weeks along in this pregnancy.  Or the last week of my 7th month. We have found out the gender of the baby, and picked out a name.  We are trying to put together a nursery for our little miracle.  This pregnancy has been so much different than my pregnancy with my daughter almost 9 years ago.  All the symptoms are different, my body is so very different than when I was 25.  But its so much more than that.  Knowing this is the last baby I will hold in my body, knowing this baby was a miracle.  It makes everything different.  I still cry tears of joy over this miracle.  I take joy in every single little kick or baby flutter.  I sit and rub my tummy and just tell him how in love with him I already am.  I look over the baby items we have for him, and just touch them and think about what my baby will look like.  And I thank God constantly for this gift.

Even though I am almost 8 months pregnant, and I gained 75 lbs with my first pregnancy, I have only gained 25 lbs with this baby.  I work every day to be healthy.  I do not want to gain back the whole 60 lbs I lost last year.  I do not want to struggle to keep my blood pressure managed, and I most definitely do not want to develop diabetes.  I work out 5-7 days a week.  I ride my recumbent exercycle, I lift small hand weights, and I walk.  I drink smoothies to make sure I am getting enough fruits and veggies in my diet, and I started a veggie garden in my back yard.  I cant wait to harvest!  So far all my efforts to stay healthy are going pretty good!  I still allow myself the occasional bowl of chips, or ice cream.  Most importantly though, is the happy face I see with both my regular OB and my High risk Dr.  My blood sugar has been tested twice through this pregnancy, and so far its looking fantastic.  My blood pressure has had a few minor issues, that I work very very hard to resolve.  I am learning my body does not like traveling in a car over long distances, and this effects my blood pressure greatly.  I am also learning my body LOVES working out, and reacts very positively.  Both drs are always suprised when I sit up from the table with no effort.  I keep telling them, I have been fatter than this, this weight is easy for me to carry.

The baby is getting big, and he does take up alot of room.  Some days i struggle with breath, because he is up so high in my tummy.  It makes it very very hard to walk on those days.  I find however than riding my bike on those days is much easier because he is not so heavy to carry on my bike.  What makes me so proud of myself is that, I have not given up.  I havent stopped trying to stay healthy.  I havent done like I have done in the past, and use any excuse to stop working out, and binge eat.  The down side of all this however, is that I am very very hard on myself.  I wish i didnt gain any weight.  I beat myself up when i have a hard time breathing.  And i know i do this, because i remember what it feels like to be so unhealthy, and I am so afraid i will let myself get that way again.

In other news, I have shut down my portrait photography business.  This choice came very easily to me.  Much easier than I thought it would.  My baby, My health are my number one priority.  My daughter, husband and nieces who rely on me are also a huge priority.  I cant focus my energy on all these things and still even try and manage a business.  I felt some guilt because I just got a new expensive camera before Christmas, and havent used it much.  But I also feel fantastic joy when i do use it, to capture family and life events.  I also take great joy in working with my first passion, nature.  And I take great comfort in knowing my husband always supports all my decision, and also has always been such a hard worker, and takes care of his family, so their is no financial burden by me closing Rivera Artistry.

I always count on God's timing for everything.  I rely on his plan, that is unknown to us, to push me in the right direction.  And I thank him daily for his many many blessings.  This month alone, not only do we celebrate the 8th month of this pregnancy, but my daughter turns 9, my husband graduates from his masters program, and my little sister marries her soul mate.  This unexpected life, is a miracle.

A perfect Miracle.

I just realized how long its been since I blogged.  Not long after my weight loss update in September, I had to have emergency surgery.  This part of my blog is somewhat personal, and you may not want to read on.

I had some serious tumors on both my ovaries.  They were so big and so heavy, that because of the strain from my workouts, it actually twisted my fallopian tube.  This was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life.  Morphin wouldn't touch the pain.  I spent 4 days in the hospital, trying to manage the pain.  I spent another week getting tests and preparing for my surgery.  In the process of all this, my left ovary died completely.  During surgery my entire left ovary and tube was removed, and the right side was so over run by the tumors, that they had to take MOST of my right ovary.  The doctor said I can expect menopause symptoms almost immediately, but they never came.  This was in September.

I will say now, that my husband and I have had a lot of issues with trying to conceive.  My oldest daughter (who is 8 now) came as quite a surprise after a miscarriage and years of trying.  We starting trying again not long after my daughter was born, to conceive again.  Years and years and years went by, another miscarriage, and no baby.  So when this surgery happened I gave up.  I knew in my heart the quest for another baby was over.  I mourned the baby I would never have.  I cried  month after month for 8 years.  I suffered mostly in silence feeling like a failure.  Wondering what was wrong with me, why was my body betraying me?  Why cant I do what other women have such an easy time doing.

I have no problem saying jealousy overran me, when someone I knew became pregnant.  Trying to fake happiness for someone, when inside you feel like your dying of heartbreak.  Infertility is a painful thing to live through.

A few weeks before Christmas, I realized I had only had one menstrual cycle since my surgery. I chalked it up to the loss of hormones, the loss of my ovaries, the menopause symptoms I was told to expect.  But I just felt unusual.  So I took a test, then another, then a few more.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  5 positives later, I decided to see my doctor.  His first words to me "God is good".  Having already experienced 2 miscarriages, the first ultrasounds are always so scary for me.  Waiting to hear that everything is ok, is so hard.  But when the tech turned on the volume and I heard the most wonderful sound, I burst into tears.  Holding my husbands hand, and hearing that beautiful fast thumping of the heart beating away.  I cant express the feelings I felt at that moment.  It was as if I had just witnessed a miracle.


This pregnancy is high risk for a few different reasons.  I still worry that it could all go away.  So for now, we are just taking it easy.  Every day I am making a full effort to be healthy and keep this baby healthy.  My life right now consists of me taking care of me, and my family.

If you have taken time to read through this whole post, thank you.  I also ask that if you pray, please say a prayer for me and this miracle inside of me.  If you don't pray, please have a nice thought for us, or send some positive energy this way.