Farmer Jen

I have had this dream since forever. I have always wanted to live on a farm, run a farm, be a farmer.  I know to most people that just sounds absolutely ridiculous.  

My Papa lived down the street from us my entire childhood.  My papa was an urban farmer.  From the front yard it looked like every other house on the block.  Once you stepped through his back porch the world changed.  Even though I was never particularly close to my papa, my Uncle Peaches also lived there and he was a second father to me.  In the back yard was hand built raised beds, filled with mostly rhubarb, but other veggies on occasion.  My only concern was the rhubarb, its still my favorite veggie.  Raw with salt! mmm.  He also had pens, and coops filled with foul, and birds of all kinds.  He had quail, pheasants, ducks, chickens, and fancy chickens, along with coups with pigeons.  I remember fresh egg being sent to our house, and refusing to eat brown eggs.  gross.  My mom fed them to me anyway, lying saying they were from the store.  They were delicious by the way, and I am not a big egg fan.  He also had this great big giant snow ball bush, that I was in love with.  His backyard was like the secret garden to me.  All hidden behind a fence, that the cold cruel world outside never saw.  It was our safety.  Because in the front yard, hid the drug dealers, crack heads, and I cant tell you how many times we were approached by grown men in that neighborhood, with ill intent.  

I guess thats where my fantasy comes in.  To be a Farmer, or master secret gardener at least.  When we bought and moved into this house, I had every intention of having a garden and growing my own food.  If we didnt live in an homeowners association, I would also have a few goats back there as well. But I digress.  The first year didnt go so well.  We have a crazy dog who likes to eat all my tomatoes.  Not only that we tried to plant in a plot, and the soil back there is tough and full of clay.  I knew, we had to have a fence to keep the dogs out, and my veggies in.  Last year we went BIG.  Chris built me my own little secret garden! Its surrounded by a fence, with a gate that latches.  We have 2 raised beds, and working on a 3rd this year.  He built me a beautiful bench, which I painted pink.  The bench is surrounded by colorful pots filled to the rim with flowers! (The flowers attract bees, which pollinate the veggie plants and gives us veggies). We are even working on putting a planting table out there for me.

  

Right now we have lots of veggie seedlings growing on our covered deck.  They are doing much better than I thought they would.  I had a lot of trouble with seeds in the past, and gave up and bought plants.  However my goal this year is to be a self reliant as possible.  Start everything from seed, spend as little as possible, and grow enough food to sustain my family and pass the rest on to others.  

My husband promises me one day he will buy me my farm.  I guess this is my practice for being a real farmer.  As for right now I am so happy with our little secret garden.  Some nights when its warm, I go out there and sit among my plants, and watch the sunset paint the sky cotton candy colors.  I pray prayers of thanksgiving, and I feel Gods love and peace throughout me.  Some days that little section of land, is my only calm in a hectic day.  I am so thankful for that. 

Spring Break Adventures

I have a lot of goals in my life.  One of my goals is to visit all 59 national parks.  2016 was the first time I had ever been to one of the bigger national parks (aside from Shenandoah).  I kind of fell in love with the National Park Service.  We bought a yearly pass and that was all I needed in my life.

My husband is a total wanderer like I am.  In fact, he is the one who first brought out my Wanderlust. So whenever I have the urge to travel, he is always up for it.  So for Spring break we decided to visit Eastern Tennessee and the Smoky Mountain National park.  We have visited Pigeon Forge before when I was pregnant with my daughter. Life was a lot different back then, and we didn't really explore the area all that much.  In fact, we didn't visit the mountains at all.  This time it was going to be completely different.

We decided to bring our nieces along for the adventure.  They both lived in eastern Tennessee when they were very little, but they don't have any memories of it.  I thought it would be neat for them to go back.

Our adventure began with a nice long road trip.  The drive was about 8 hours total.  Which may be a long drive to some of you.  That is just a short day trip for us.

The Appalachian mountain range through Virginia and Tennessee is absolutely breathtaking. The rolling hills, and farmlands.  I don't know if I have enough words to describe the beauty to you.

Chris found us a really cool resort to stay at.  The hotel had a huge indoor water park, with slides and a wave pool.  The park even had a surf station.  The kids all loved playing in the water park.  I cant tell you how many times the 3 girls went down the water slides.  It was probably close to 50 times between the slides.  Even little Lucas went down a water slide with Hermione.  Me and Chris stuck to the wave pool for the most part, but Chris did go down a few water slides with the girls.  I honestly think if we did nothing but stay at the hotel, the girls would have been happy.


What I liked about the hotel was the full kitchen in the room.  We all ate dinner at a big table every night.  Granted, one night we just had Bojangles take out.  It was nice to cook a nice meal for everyone.  I thought I would hate cooking on vacation.  Honestly though, I always miss real food when I am on vacation.  Eating out all the time gets old, and I cant wait to go home and eat a sandwich.  It also probably saved us a little bit of money.  6 people at a restaurant, gets expensive really fast.

One of our adventures was to go to the Ripleys Aquarium of the Smokies. We have been to the Ripleys Aquarium in Myrtle beach, and I really loved it.  So I couldn't wait to see this one.  I remember our first visit to the strip, We sat down on a bench across the street from the Aquarium of the Smokies, and they were raving about their shark exhibit.  I had never been to an aquarium before at that point.  I wanted to go over there so bad and visit.  Chris and I just didn't have the money for that.  So it was really great to be able to go, and take the kids.  The aquarium did not disappoint either.  We got to actually touch and interact with horseshoe crabs, rays, and moon jellies.  We had a really great time.

After the Aquarium we were  hungry.  Chris found a place across the street that served NY style pizza.  So we went into this old building that they turned into a mall.  It looked like a really old office building, with an old grist mill feel to it.  It was quite odd.  The pizza place was in a tiny little corner, and was ran by people with an Eastern European accent.  But honestly I am so glad we stopped there.  The pizza was phenomenal.  The crust was super thin and very good texture.  Not soggy at all.  The sauce was slightly sweet, not acidic at all.  and the cheese was so good.  And the kids loved eating pizza slices bigger than their head.

The following day we searched for something fun to do.  We had what felt like a hundred pamphlets on the table.  Trying to find something fun to do, while it rained outside.  I will say this, it rained every day we were there.  Not once did we let it damper our fun! We finally decided on visiting a little Zoo.  The Rainforest Adventure Zoo.  When we pulled up to the building, it was not what we expected at all.  To call yourself a zoo, and be completely enclosed in a building, in a very busy area of Gatlinburg.  I dont know what I expected, but I didnt have very high hopes when I saw the building. I really thought it would be outdoors.  When we entered the building, or store I should say, it smelled very strong of urine. However, despite all that.  We had a really good time.  They had so many animals packed in that building.  Birds, lizards, snakes, spiders, chinchillas, lemurs, tamarins.  I mean the list goes on and on.  They even had a petting section, and you could feed and pet goats, emus, donkeys, and my all time favorite Giant Tortoise.  We stopped for a long time and had a conversations with a cockatoo named Coral.  She was very sweet and new she was a pretty bird.  But when a sassy little cockatoo started yelling things at my son, the party really got started.  This guy was so funny.  He was trying to kiss my son through the glass.  This particular bird stayed on the ground, while all his buddies were on perches.  Lucas was the only one at ground level.  So this bird had a field day playing with him. At one point Lucas had his back to the glass, and he started screaming at the back of his head, bouncing up and down.  Lucas thought that was so funny, so he started mimicking the bird.  The bird yelled I LOVE YOU to Lucas, and then started singing ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM.  It was a hoot.


Our last full day in Tennessee we decided to finally go to the mountains.  It was the point of our whole trip, but with the non stop rain, we couldn't go until the last day.  The roads driving into the mountains can be terrifying at times.  With no guard rails and sheer drop offs 3 feet from the road. The views however could not be beat.  The mountains were so green from the new spring growth.  A beautiful river runs along the road.  We spent time climbing, and dipping our toes in the ice cold mountain river.  We also were on a search for wildflowers and wildlife.

The Great Smoky Mountains are filled with the most wildflowers of any other national park.

One of my goals in the parks, is to see wildlife.  I love seeing animals in there natural habitat.  And I love our local black bears.  So all through the park the kids were all on bear lookout.  We spent many hours driving, hiking and playing in the park.  When we finally had enough, Chris decided to take this one way dirt road out of the park.  this road looks like its barely ever used.  It was so janky.  It twisted and turned up and up and up to the tippy tops of the mountains.  It was one way, because its only wide enough for one car to pass.  At this point, we did not see any bears.  We had seen quite a few wild turkeys, but no bears.  Chris took one look at this road, and said "now we will see some wildlife". I wasn't buying it.  I thought, "no bears this trip"  As we were driving, my niece Samira yells out, I think i see a bear!!!  And sure enough, there the little guy was eating on the side of the hill.  Because the way the road twisted and turned up the mountain, we got to see the bear from below and from above.  I couldn't believe how close we were to this little guy.  It was a pretty cool end to a nice trip through the National Parks.

The day we came home.  At some point during the drive, I felt like I wanted to see more, do more.  I wasn't ready for the trip to be over.  So I asked Chris if we could get off the freeway and go drive a bit on the Blue Ridge parkway.  He gladly obliged.  The kids at this point were not feeling it.  They were all tired and ready to be home.  Adding time to the drive home, didnt make them happy either.  But I was so happy we did.  The mountains were so beautiful.  You would never guess that I am terrified of heights, and even more afraid of falling. I just cant get enough of the views from the top of the world.  I always tell my daughter, "its ok to be scared, I am afraid all the time.  Its not ok to ever let fear stop you from doing anything in this life"  There were points of this trip, that I was so afraid, I thought I might throw up.  But I will never ever left fear stop me.   I cant imagine how many things in my life, I would never have experienced if I let fear stop me.

fun with dolls

A while back, my daughter and I were playing with her dolls.  She likes to take scrap material and create outfits for her barbies and monster high dolls.  She has an acute love for fashion.  She got the idea that her dolls should have a photo shoot, and fashion show.  Well I thought that would be a fun way to combine our passions.  She created the looks for her dolls, and we set them up together in poses, and I snapped the shots.  Eventually I plan to print some of these images to hang on the walls in her bedroom.

At 10 years old, shes quickly outgrowing some childish things, such as playing with these type of dolls.  Im so thankful she still does.  I stopped playing with barbies at her age.  Its so important to me to take time to enjoy her childhood with her.  They are only young for so long.  So when I have the chance to encourage this kind of play, I will do anything I can do preserve it.

Why photography is important.

I have done a post similar to this in the past.  I feel I need to revisit this subject due to recent circumstances.  You see, we have have 2 deaths in my family in a 10 day period.  Both deaths were our grandfathers.  My birth Grandfather, and my husbands grandfather, who was more of a grandfather to me than my own birth grandparents.

I learned this lesson about 16 years ago this month.  My Godfather passed away way too soon.  At the time I was 20 years old, and photography was really just a pastime for me.  I worked in film, and my camera was very inexpensive, because we were fairly poor. But in my experimentation I bought a few rolls of black and white film.  I took a photo of my Godfather in black and white, and I still have that photo and cherish it.  My Godfather was going through a really hard time before he died.  He didn't have a lot of family around him, and there really were no recent pictures of him, with the exception of the ones I took.

Flash forward to 2010.  during this year, I was really just starting our trying to make a name for myself in photography.  I had a lot to learn, but I was eager, and curious.  I loved reading books on photography and practicing as many techniques as I could. I also found it important to photograph my loved ones.  I set up a session with my birth grandfather, my mom, myself and my daughter.  Its the closest thing to a generational photo, that I could get.  And even though I wasn't that close to my papa, I still wanted these photos for one day, when my daughter asked about him.  I also set up a session just for fun, with my mom, and her 3 daughters, and her 3 granddaughters.  I never in a million years expected her to die the following month.  I just kept thinking, if I hadn't done those 2 sessions, we would have no recent pictures of her.  She hated being photographed.  But she did these sessions for me, because she knew it was important to me.  Can I just say that I hang onto those pictures for dear life.  They mean everything to me.  

With the passing of my birth grandfather this month, It occurred to me, that out of all his many many children and grandchildren, I was the only one with decent pictures of him.  Pictures from before he was sick.  Pictures when he was still full of piss and vinegar (as my mom would say)  Granted the pictures are now 5 years old.  But as far as I know, they are the most recent photographs, that are not cell pictures of him on his death bed. 

My husbands Grandpa.  I adopted my grandparents when I first met them in 2001.  My husband very happily shares them with me, and I consider them my own.  Tragedy struck my husbands family in August, with the untimely death of Uncle David.  He lived only 4 short hours away from us, and we found out our grandparents would come to say goodbye to their son.  We havent seen them in a while, because they live in California, clear across the country.  We took the opportunity to go see them.  It was a wonderful time, through a tragic circumstance.  Grandma asked if I had my camera.  (of course i always have it)  I tried to take pictures, without being intrusive.  This was also the first time they met my son, who had just turned one.  I never imagined it would be the last time we would see him.  I mean, when your dealing with older family members, its always in  your mind, that this could be the last time you see them.  But I just never imagined so soon after our visit, his life would end.  We are so full of hurt and grief.  But once again, I realize how very very blessed I am to have taken photographs.  And though my heart breaks to look at them.  It also makes me so so happy to know, I will have them forever.  So that when I look back, I can remember every wrinkle of his face when he smiles, every tattoo that I never looked to hard at, because that would be weird.  And my son, who has not stopped talking about his gah pa since, will have pictures, when he no longer remembers.  And my wonderful daughter and husband can remember that even though my  husband had fear and respect for Grandpas authority, my daughter stood up to him at a young age of  2 and made grandpa laugh when she did it.  

So I will leave you with this thought.  TAKE PICTURES!  Get in pictures!  Let others photograph you! When you visit someplace cool with your family, take FAMILY PICTURES, not just pictures of the place your visiting.  Take pictures of every day life.  Pictures of you mom at the stove, or of your children playing with their toys.  Laughing on the porch, fishing on a dock.  Do professional pictures at least once a year.  Get those memories on film, or disk, or paper!  Do it now, don't wait.  Because their might not be a tomorrow and you WILL REGRET IT. 

My new lifestyle.

I know I have posted about my weight before.  This is a journey, that I will be on the rest of my life.  But I just wanted to do a little update on how far I have come.  

The pregnancy did derail my fitness and health some, I wont lie.  I gained some weight.  I gained 40 lbs.  Compared to my last pregnancy 9 years ago, its small potatoes.  I gained 75 with my daughter.  So I consider this a huge achievement.  After the c-section I lost a quick 20 lbs. I came home to a long recovery, and a baby who has a mind of his own.  Getting back on track has taken quite some time.  With no sleep, constant feeding, and taking care of 3 big girls, I just didn't have the energy.  Quite honestly, I needed every calorie I took in.  My little man is an eater.  For a while, I thought he might just want to stay attached to the boob permanently.    

Anyway.  I decided after 4 months, it was time to get back into gear.  I let the holidays pass, and ate at my  hearts content, then first of the year (so very cliche) I would get back to work.  This is what I have been doing.

Eat like you mean it.

If your hungry, EAT.  but be wise about what your eating.  Here is a sample of what I eat every day.

BREAKFAST-

1 light yogurt (sometimes I mix in a tsp of candy or granola)

    OR

3 eggs any way I feel like it. 

    OR

A smoothie, made with my light yogurt, lowfat milk, and whatever else i want to mix in

LUNCH-

Salad with protein. (you can use any old protein you want, I prefer meat, but beans, and nuts work just as well. Sometimes i double up on the protein, and use nuts and meat)

    OR

A protein, and a good hardy veggie (example grilled chicken breast, and brussel sprouts)

DINNER-

A protein, usually chicken, but I mix it up, Anything you would cook for your family

2 vegetables.  too keep it interesting I like to do one hot, one cold.  

and always, i have an after workout snack.  my favorite is carrots and roasted red pepper hummus(2 tbsn).  Sometimes if i am hungry in between meals, i will grab some cheese.  Just 2 oz though. 

Workout like your life depended on it.

In my case, it does.  My life depends on my working out.  If I dont workout, and eat right, I get sick, really sick.  I dont want to be sick, I dont like high blood pressure, and I sure dont want to look at the possibility of diabetes again.  I dont want heart palpitation, or feeling like I cant breath.  I love life way too much to let myself get like that again.

I dedicate at least 1 full hour to myself EVERY DAY.  My kids know this, my husband knows this.  If I dont workout, i get really moody.  

I like to dance. I call it my cardio.  I have several games on the kinnect, but my favorite is JUST DANCE.  I dance for 25-50 minutes.  I challenge myself with new dances, and I keep moving up and down the list to keep in interesting and new.  

I ride my stationary bike.  Some days I pair riding with dancing.  20 minutes of one, 5 miles of the other.  I challenge myself here too.  Different levels of difficulty, go a certain number of miles.  

Good old fashioned walking.  I have a perfect neighborhood for this.  Its very hilly and is almost a complete circle.  We also have a great walking trail not far from here, and the battlefield is also a great place to walk.  

Keep yourself accountable

Here is where my facebook/twitter friends might get irritated.  I post EVERY SINGLE WORKOUT. why? to irritate people? NO.  to keep myself accountable for my actions.  I feel guilty if i get lazy.  I have this made up scenario in my head that people are judging me if I dont workout.  and it keeps me going.  

IGNORE YOUR SCALE

 I cannot express the importance of this enough.  the scale will drive you crazy! 

first off, muscle weighs more than fat.  I am building muscle every day, AND burning fat.  I am also a woman, we swell, we have weight gain, hormone fluctuations, all make your weight go up and down.  

The way I keep myself going, is non-scale victories.  Setting goals for myself and keeping them.  for instance, I was really struggling walking up the stairs to my bedroom.  I would get winded, and have to sit down on my bed.  My goal, RUN UP THE STAIRS.  Once I mastered that, now my goal is to RUN UP THE STAIRS HOLDING MY SON (22 lbs)  He likes doing it, and im pretty close to being able to do it.  Another example is making 10 miles on my bike, then 15, and so on.  Or walking a mile, then 2.  A recent goal I mastered was the walking path i mentioned earlier.  The last time I walked this trail (over a year ago) I made it about halfway, and had to turn around.  It was embarrassing, and i hated myself for it so much, we never went back.  Last week, we went, I walked the WHOLE TRAIL.  I did it without pain, or discomfort, and i did it with my breath fully in tact.  I even did it walking and training a half crazy puppy, who is terrified of everything.  I AM THE MASTER! lol  

My new lifestyle is amazing.  It makes me happy, and keeps me healthy.  It feels so good to be proud of yourself.  It feels even better to challenge yourself and meet and surpass every single time.  I just have to say, it this big fat girl can do it, anyone can.  

The one final thing you need to succeed, is LOVE YOURSELF.  

Farmers Market recipe

My family took a trip to our local farmers market.  Its definitely harvest season here, right now.  We found so many colorful veggies.  I bought some heirloom tomatoes in yellow and purple, and some beautiful red, yellow and purple peppers.  Along with red and white radishes as big as my daughters fist, and some other yummy foods, including baked goods and jam from our local baker at Karens Kitchen.

Some of my veggies were placed in the fridge, but I never ever refrigerate tomatoes.  It changes the texture and flavor greatly.  So I had to think of a recipe to come up with quick.

Heirloom tomato salad.

3 large heirloom tomatoes. any color you wish ( i used yellow and purple)
2 peppers any color ( I used purple and red)
1 small onion
Half of a cucumber
1\4 cup of italian dressing
1 tsp of dried basil (or a big handful of fresh)
light dusting of garlic powder (not garlic salt)
1\2 tsp of red pepper flakes
and salt and pepper to taste.

You can chop this big or dice it small.  I diced it small because I have 3 girls, two of which can be picky when it comes to tomatoes.  When you dice it small, they can really pick out which veggie is what, and have no choice but to take spoonfuls of all the veggies together.  If your serving it to adults I would probably cut it into bigger pieces.

Dice all the veggies, and add the dressing and spices. Stir gently and let it soak in the juices for about a half an hour.  Please dont refrigerate before serving, you will thank me.

Life as I know it

I have received a few emails from my very favorite clients asking for an update. Its been a long while.  To start,  our son was born in August. A very healthy happy baby boy. He was born via c section after a very long hard 4 days.  He was a very special birthday present to me. We joke around about the surgery because it was a surgery that enables me to get pregnant and a surgery that helped him be born. I have 5 scars that I wouldn't trade for the world, because they remind me of my perfect little miracle.

Life as you can imagine is really busy. He keeps me busy all hours of the day and night and my daughter and nieces keep me pretty busy too.  Between ballet and middle school and making homemade healthy dinners every night. There isn't much time left.

So i have decided to retire for the time being.  I will still post from time to time. And still will do sessions for family and friends and by request from those of you who have been loyal and loving to me. But for now im being completely selfish and just doing life the way I know how. By giving my all to the children God entrusted me with. By being the best wife I can to my husband. And by using my skills to document this amazing life I have been given.

Thank you all for sticking around,  by standing beside me, and especially for all the prayers and support you all have given me. I love y'all more than I can express.